The fifth stage of the online dating process involves talking to potential partners.
This section explores how to make those conversations work…
A phone call will rule out a good number of your possibles – and while this may seem disappointing, it’s much better than spending time getting close to someone but then realising the moment you speak to them they are not for you. It’s courteous in heterosexual relationships for the man to offer the woman his number so that she isn’t revealing hers.
If you’re wary, give out your mobile number – which is easier to change than a landline if you then feel nervous about having confided it.
As hearing each others’ voices is also a whole new level of discovering more about each other, it is also often a key point for deciding that you don’t want to take things further, or for a potential partner to decide the same about you; this is the first time that you have a live interaction with them, and this tells you a lot. There’s an argument for speaking as soon as one or two emails have established that you’ve something in common – not least because the phone call very often tips one or both of you to end the connection, so talking sooner rather than later means you don’t waste time on non-starters.
On the other hand, if you have a number of email connections, you may want to be choosey about who you talk with.
(That said, once connection is established, someone who specifies rigid time slots outside of which they are unobtainable may have something to hide.) For the first call in particular, prepare by looking over your potential partner’s profile and your email exchanges and preparing a few starter questions to get the conversation going. One thing to remember with phone calls is that, unlike emails, there is no record of what was said.
Strike a balance between what you’re going to talk about and what you’re going to ask about – there needs to be an equal flow of question and answer, of speaking and listening. If your memory is not good, or you are talking with more than one ‘front-runner’, it can be helpful to jot down some notes.Six to ten email exchanges (3-5 from each of you) is a good rule of thumb.Plus, as we mentioned, if you think someone you are communicating with online is a real possibility, it’s better to do speak in person sooner rather than later.There are some proven things that work when trying to start conversations, though.I'm going to share with you some of the things that I've learned to get you talking and possibly meeting women, so listen up!This article has sections on: I'm going to help you boost your game and give you proven openers that get women talking to you like nothing else.