Some of my male Indian friends have remarked to me that my decision to date a Caucasian man, presumably before other Indian men, speaks to a broader pre-occupation with the white male ideal.These friends have even implied that it is insincere of me to be critical of heterosexual white male privilege and date a white man at the same time.I have also heard Chinese Singaporeans state unequivocally that they would never date Indians.
Now I always knew that Singaporeans have particular dating preferences, as do people all over the world.
I was acutely aware of this growing up, when I was mocked by some of my peers for having dark skin and curly hair.
Even evolutionary biology would disagree with this explanation, as interracial relationships are biologically advantageous.
Instead, I believe this is the result of what Elizabeth Spelman called “the ampersand problem.” I am caught within a blend of both patriarchal AND racist structures when I am criticized for my choice in partner.
This begs the question: why is dating within one’s own ethnicity and socio-economic class considered the norm?
Moreover, why does it appear incongruous when a white man and an ethnic minority woman are seen together?
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